She wakes up, puts on her clothes and heads for the dooor, as she does this, the man pulls the blanket and covers himself…enjoys his sleep.  Sex is no longer an enjoyable moment anymore, but a bodily satisfaction…but what does the spirit gain????an act  that was to put smile on our faces,is what has been transformed to a normal act. We get children out of them, whom we are not ready for,we loose our dignity to people we never treasure…thats sex.

It all started  with  a  cup of icecream, concert, then  dinner, and before I knew it  am enjoying his  company in “BED“……I know aint fair to this other woman, as I’m SLEEPING  around with his man, but am not ready to let him go…never have I felt this loved, and happy in my life….am becoming the bad girl next door. Ma Sunday schools teaching aint helping leave alone my one  ON one meetings with my local pastor and counsellor. I just lost it. “ that’s what we have

A look at him and my body shivers,, not out of cold but out of imagination……his caresses, kisses all sums up a good sex that I forever long for…..deep inside am not sure , what I feel for him, I belong to someone so does he, but what we have seems not to  ……I can not call it lust , for I feel more than love  ,am becoming part of him so does he, the chemistry is getting more than we thought .its like we are meant for each other ….but again we both got partners….I am selfish I tell myself,he says he feels guilty but again we plan for our next meeting and again we fall in bed …..just like the first time.

He calls me the sweet names, and gives me the best in bed …..but he still goes back to her.   “friends with benefits”  we’ve become!  The next day he calls me and  narrates how he misses me, foolishly  I grasp  it as an oportunity. Nezt time he sets for a date for the two of us I dare not dissapoint him. Just like a routine , we roll in bed, in each others arms  …just like the first time and once again he goes back to her….

I feel rejected, used and cheated on…..

the pleasure lasts for a while but the pain forever lives with me,,,,,

ring… ring….ring.. the phone goes again come Friday …days after the encounter  and again I fall a victim…..is the body so week to resist temptations or have I let my feelings control me???Once again we meet in bed…………poor me. am now loosing it …..my focus , time and love is shifting away from one that loves me,  to the one who leaves me for another……

how I wish I had never started it, its breaking me up…i can no longer look upto my man, i just lost him!!!!